Where were you when...?

Today is September 11, 2014.  For most Americans of teen age or older and many other people throughout the world September 11 holds extreme significance because of the events that took place exactly 13 years ago today in New York City and other parts of the United States.  The events are referred to plainly as 9/11.  As President Franklin D. Roosevelt stated the day after the attack on Pearl Harbor by the Japanese that drove us into World War II, September 11, 2001, has joined December 7, 1941, as "a date which will live in infamy".

The thing about infamous events and times is that many groups and individuals have them.  Bad things happen every day throughout the world and the survivors must live with the memories of them for the rest of their lives.  Most of us that are not considered sociopaths or psychopaths or otherwise of extremely ill repute live through events like these, but they shake us to our very core and change our outlook on life forever.

September 11, 2001, was significant to me purely because of the affects it had on so many people throughout the world.  It did not affect me directly because I did not have any close friends or family at the time that were injured or hurt or otherwise directly involved with the attacks that took place that day.  I was just starting my sophomore year of college and many classes were canceled and students often were excused from attending.  I was not affected directly, but I was affected greatly--and still am to some degree--indirectly by the events of that day.  To this day I know people who in some way were affected either directly or indirectly by 9/11 and still carry external or internal scars of the events from that day.

People ask, "Where were you when you heard the news of the attacks of 9/11?"  Children born near that date or afterward cannot tell you either because they were not yet alive or because they are too young to remember.  Many people can identify exactly where they were and what they were doing when they got the news and many other details that otherwise might go unnoticed.  That is the thing about dates of infamy--the exact circumstances are seared into our memories forever.

Most people alive today either are too young to remember where they were or were not alive on December 7, 1941.  For much of the human population that date is fading away and becoming little more than a piece of history to be discussed and contemplated by historians and scholars.  Although the living memories of events like 1941/12/07 and 2001/09/11 diminish, the affects of the events never will.

Infamous occasions are not the only ones with enduring affects.  Exhilarating occasions arguably are entirely unbounded.  The day that one meets their true love and the day that loving parents' children are born are among these greatest of occasions.  Joyous moments like these are deeply personal and rarely shared directly with a large group of people.  That does not mean that they are less important than negative events like 9/11 and Pearl Harbor.  To the contrary, because joyous events are so personal they are of great value.  Whenever we share our stories of struggle and triumph, ecstatic experiences, or simply a few kind words or a smile with others we add to our collective goodwill.

With all of the terrible things that have happened and continue to happen every day it can be difficult to have a positive outlook on life and the future of the human race.  Our problems can feel insurmountable.  We might decide to live a very selfish and materialistic life or end our life prematurely in a desperate attempt to stop the misery.  Unpleasant things happen in order to remind us of the good things in life.  No matter how dire things get, we can always fall back to this:  life is a gift, and like any gift it is the thought that counts.  If one thinks the gift of life is nothing but a cruel joke, then it will be.  If one thinks the gift of life is a ride to be relished, then it will be.  Rides are not always safe or delightful.  Sometimes the ride is mundane and other times it is not only noteworthy but life-altering.  A ride can be downright risky and potentially lethal, but it's just a ride.  Eventually it will end.  People like to argue about the "source" of the ride and where we go when it is over, but does that really matter?  I cannot take credit for the metaphor of life as a ride.  It was the great Bill Hicks that said, "Don't worry.  Don't be afraid--ever--because...this is just a ride."  Ultimately we are not in absolute control of our rides.  Sometimes it is best just to throw our hands up and enjoy the bumps, twists, turns, and other nuances of the ride.  After all, the alternatives are to make it miserable for others or depart the ride before its natural conclusion in which case you also could be making the ride less enjoyable for others.  I choose to see what else is going to happen on this ride, be thankful for the journey, and help others to do the same whenever and however possible.

Marching Through Our Stories

It may sound obvious at first, but each of us is meant to lead our own lives.  We go about "earning a living" through paid employment (perhaps self-employed), living "off the system" through welfare/disability programs or the (in)justice system, or living "off the grid" either by our own choice or through circumstance.  Those are not the only possibilities, but they are the most commonly discussed ones.  There are an infinite number of paths to choose in life, but we tend to feel as though one particular path--usually the one we each are on ourselves--is the correct one and that others ought to follow a similar path.  Life is like a mob of people marching forward:  some march along side us, others  are pulled behind us by unseen forces ("government handouts"), some might march against us (naysayers, regulators, IRS, law enforcement, battles/war, etc.).  But all of these people are not marching only forward in a straight line with some people and against others.  We are like the molecules and forces of the earth, air, fire and water moving together in multiple dimensions simultaneously battling each other and working together to keep the "machine" of life going.  And the machine is not made up of human beings alone but all of life, matter, and forces of energy.

Each one of our lives is a story, and each story has a set of information about it.  We like to believe that we know and understand our own stories but we often do not.  Though we do not fully understand or know our own stories (what happens on the next page or in the next chapter?) we keep writing them.  As we write our own stories we read bits and pieces of others' stories and go back and read bits of our own story.  When we compare our story to others' stories we judge both their stories and our own.  If we relate to parts of others' stories and accept those parts we cannot relate to, we are growing rather than judging.  If we get stuck reading and rereading our own and/or others' stories and stop writing our own, we can fall deep into depression and either continue by writing an incredibly dark and twisted story or very literally end our story through suicide.  The same could be said if we're constantly worrying about the next page or the next chapter of our stories.  We need to keep growing and writing our own stories.

So are we marching or writing stories?  We are marching through our own stories in an infinite library and the books are not bound or laying still on shelves stacked neatly next to one another for all eternity.  Our stories are shared and the characters and events occur in different stories at different times.  What if we slowed from a march to a stroll at a varied pace and stopped to rest once in a while and really appreciate the stories?  Our stories are woven together in the fabric of time but like all things the fabric degrades and is recycled over and over again.  We are mortal beings and we stop marching or strolling at some point, but our stories live on.

Recently a very well known and much beloved celebrity passed away.  He was a troubled soul, but he was deeply admired and his body of work was vast and varied.  Many on social media and in real life expressed sadness and condolences of his passing and shared images, words, and clips of performances in his honor.  Others were saddened by his passing but kept their focus on other events still taking place today.  There are wars and conflicts and suppression and oppression of people and ideas.  Horrible things happen every day and people focus on the death of one man and the work that he did during his lifetime?  What about all the children being killed and abused the world over whose chance at a free and happy life are cut short?  What about those poor, innocent children who have no choice in what happens to them?

Some denounce those who mourn a celebrity one did not know personally and not mourning young victims halfway around the world whom one not only never met but whom one never even knew existed.  What good is simply pointing out perceived shortcomings of people?  Perhaps we ought to ask the following question:  Why do people so openly express their feelings about the life and death of famous people and so rarely express feelings about the life and death of the voiceless and downtrodden?  I believe that it boils down to the fact that celebrities are looked upon as luminaries--exceptional and inspirational people who affect us personally, sometimes in profound ways.  We feel connected to celebrities even when we never have met them.  We often feel as though they are part of the family or we aspire to be like them.  Generally that is not true of random emaciated children in foreign countries thousands of miles away.  They are not family members, nor do they have an immediate effect on us or our family.  Maybe we simply do not want to believe that they have an effect on us or that we have an effect on them.  It is too difficult--to painful--to fathom that we are in any way responsible for their suffering or that their suffering might be a result of our comfort.  Modern electronics, jewelry, and countless other goods we buy every day contain materials that once passed through the hands of the poor and disenfranchised.  The people that assembled our smart phones may be going to bed hungry or contemplating suicide not simply because of depression but because their lives are like that of a caged animal with no room to move or breathe.

Death and suffering are incredibly tragic things.  But why might they be considered more tragic under one circumstance and less tragic under others?  It depends on our level of attachment to those who suffer and/or pass on.  When most people die it is an arduous loss to somebody in some way.  Everybody is (or was) someone's child, whether one or both (or perhaps several) parents/guardians survive them or not.  For the spiritually inclined every person is at the very least a son or daughter of God (or whatever name[s] one may choose).  Though we cannot easily trace it back to ourselves, everyone affects everything and everybody else somehow--no matter how insignificant the effect might seem.  But that goes both ways--they affect us and we affect them.  We all are characters in each others' stories moving along in an eternal cosmic dance of which we are capable of seeing only an infinitesimal part.

To live a more fulfilling life and to make our stories infinitely more compelling we ought to recognize others' stories as no more or less important than our own.  After all, what is it that we are actually doing?  Are we marching through our own story alone straight to a definitive end or are we strolling through each others' stories--weaving in and out---and leaving traces everywhere even after our own story ends?  It is possible that once this story ends we can start another story, but that's a discussion for another time.

Adapting to Internet, Life

I came upon a post on social media from National Public Radio (NPR) that showed a scan of a memo from 20 years ago saying the Internet was coming to NPR.  This really got me thinking about the role of the Internet in our lives today and how it can influence where we go from here.

We have adapted to the Internet in a very short time.  The Internet is a virtual space rather than a physical one, but that just shows how elastic our minds really are.  If we can so readily adapt to changes in our virtual environment, what's stopping us from adapting to changes in our physical environment?  The problem is not simply that it is easier to adapt to "virtual" reality than it is to adapt to "actual" reality, but that we feel more in control of the virtual world than the real one.  When we connect to the Internet we feel as though we have some level of control over what we put into and what we get out of it.  But how is that any different from connection to and control of the real world?

Really it isn't the Internet itself that we have control over; the Internet is controlled by servers (computer systems), system administrators, Web developers/Web masters, Internet service providers (ISPs), and all of the legal regulations surrounding the Internet.  We have certain "digital rights" but there are limits to them.  Some things are illegal or at least discouraged on the Internet such as piracy and (cyber) bullying.  But these things are true in the real world also.  In fact, the Internet in many ways is a reflection of the real world.  In other ways it is a virtual representation of what the world could be or what we would like it to be.  But that sounds a lot like stories and art (written, verbal, visual, audio/visual, etc.) in the real world, doesn't it?

The fact is that no one person has absolute control over the Internet itself or its content.  How is that different from the real world?  Well, we believe that we have control over the Internet because we see ourselves as "connected" to it.  We do connect to it, but only via our devices and their various user interfaces (touch, mouse, keyboard, voice).  But we have a direct connection to the real world.  There is no proxy between us and reality beyond our own thoughts.  Does it not make more sense then that because of this "direct connection" to the real world we have much more potential for "control" over it than we ever thought possible?

What about that word, "control?"  Control actually is the idea of setting limits on things.  I think a more accurate term for what we desire would be "influence."  Influence is the ability of someone or something to affect (or effect) another.  What we really crave in life is not a sense of control but a sense of influence--to feel as if our actions have some kind of impact on the world.  We have an innate longing to be of some value.  People often confuse influence and control and seek to quench their thirst for influence through control.  But that does not work because they are entirely different things.  Control is the troll guarding the bridge.  Influence is crossing the bridge in spite of the troll.

In the real world there are many "bridge trolls," but they are different from "Internet trolls."  Internet trolls attempt to exercise influence by provoking a particular (usually negative) response from people.  There are some "Internet trolls" in real life as well.  My point in all of this is that we want to effect change in the real world but often feel unable to do so for lack of connection.  In other words the "bridges of connection" we seek to cross are not simply "guarded by trolls" underneath the bridges but the view them is obscured by trolls.  The trolls either come right out and say "You can't do that" or they highlight limitations--particular structures of control--that are designed to prevent us from crossing bridges.  Too often we can't see the bridges that connect us because we're distracted by the trolls.  If we do not know the bridges are there, how could we cross them?

The cool thing about the Internet--at least for now--is that it is open and lacks extensive controls.  There are some general guidelines or "netiquette" and some laws set in place to protect people's rights, but it is open for sharing information and holding discussions.  It is very possible that real life bridge trolls will seek to put significant limitations on our access to the Internet by slowing it down (bandwidth), limiting how much we can use it (data caps), and even what we can use it for (censorship).  This battle to maintain an open and unlimited Internet (within reason) has been termed "Net Neutrality."

We have the power to determine the paths of our lives and have some influence on the world around us.  This power can only be utilized if we know that we have it and have the strength of will and determination to use it.  The Internet is a major source of information and inspiration that often is obscured in our daily lives.  Popular media rarely highlights ideas and stories that make us think and inspire us into action.  If the Internet is limited or censored to favor the status quo, it would be a major blow to the progress of mankind.

If you would like to follow issues of Net Neutrality and assist in keeping the Internet open and free, here is a short list of sites and online petitions dedicated to the cause:

https://www.eff.org
http://www.savetheinternet.com
https://www.aclu.org/net-neutrality
http://act.watchdog.net/petitions/4565?n=68036810.Kd1OLo
http://act.credoaction.com/sign/verizon_netneutrality?referring_akid=a149904420.7748020.V9Gewz&source=conf_email
http://act.freepress.net/sign/internet_FCC_court_decision2/?source=conf

As John Philpot Curran stated over 200 years ago (1790):
"It is the common fate of the indolent to see their rights become a prey to the active. The condition upon which God hath given liberty to man is eternal vigilance."

If we are to be free and able to care for ourselves and influence the world positively, we must not allow ourselves to be blindfolded.  I feel as if there is some kind of "blindfold" placed over most peoples' hearts and minds by much of society and popular media.  People who read and study diverse subjects and ideas generally have better "vision" than others.  The same is true for people who travel to unfamiliar lands.  Exposure to different ideas and ways of being has a way of "awakening" people to possibilities and inspiring them to action.  For people who have limited access to educational materials or cannot travel long distances, the Internet affords them the opportunity to learn and explore when they otherwise could not.

There are plenty of trolls on the Internet and distractions that mimic old style news and media, but there is plenty of real and encouraging information on the Internet if you know where to look.  Stay tuned to illumimate for some such Internet treasures in the future!

A Truth in Silence

The other night I attended a screening of a short film titled "A Truth in Silence" at Denver University.  The film is an artistic interpretation of actual events that depicts a weekend endured by an expecting young mother and her baby in Chicago.  It is a bilingual production highlighting the beginning of an abusive marriage that lasted seventeen years.

I will not share the plot details for two reasons.  First, describing the film in words could never do it justice.  How does one describe an exquisite sculpture to another?  It must be seen or--if one's vision is obscured--it must be felt to be understood.   Moreover, sharing the story at this time would be disrespectful to Piña Productions (the company behind the film), all of the dedicated individuals who made the film possible, and those who work tirelessly to raise awareness of domestic abuse (DA) and assist those who have survived it.

After the film ended a presenter noted that most cases of DA involve a male "perpetrator" and a female "victim."  But there are cases where the roles are reversed and cases of abuse in same sex relationships.  No one race, ethnicity, religion, or cultural or socioeconomic group is immune to the potential for DA.  The primary victim often is not the only one; one or more children likely are victimized also.  In cases involving children the complexity of DA is magnified immeasurably.

Many who are familiar with abusive relationships can attest that the "perpetrator" often was victimized in some way themselves.  Additionally, individuals often view the primary "victim" as a perpetrator of sorts because she (or he) does not leave an abusive relationship.  People ask, "Why don't [or didn't] you just leave?"  Unless one has experienced the dynamics of an abusive relationship, especially one involving children, it can be nearly impossible to grasp the combination of fear and love that keeps the targets of abuse--the victims--in abusive relationships.

The home in which I grew up was turbulent at times, but not nearly as tumultuous as that portrayed in the film.  Despite all that happened my parents are still together and my siblings and I are relatively healthy, well adjusted individuals.  Because my parents have overcome so many challenges both of them are and always will be my biggest source of inspiration.  I love them dearly and I am grateful for all that they have given me.  Not everyone is as fortunate as my siblings and I.

The affects of DA are not confined to the households in which abuse has taken place.  The young woman portrayed in the film is my dad's sister.  My dad and his siblings' father was abusive when they were growing up.  This reveals how DA can be a cycle that spans generations.  The main roles in the film are portrayed by gifted actors who also have had encounters with DA in their own lives.  Domestic abuse affects not only close family members, but extended family, whole communities, and people throughout the globe.

It is a different kind of "truth in silence" that all too often we label people without much regard to whether a particular label is fair, accurate, or appropriate.  We judge people based on physical appearance and ability and perceived mental intelligence.  We make assumptions based on age, gender, religion (or lack thereof), culture, and sexual orientation.  Politically we identify people as "liberal" and "conservative."  In the context of altercations we label people as "perpetrators" and "victims."  For the sake of anonymity labels can be useful, but when labels define people they can be dangerous.  Labels have a tendency to paint an incomplete picture of whole individuals.  So-called "perpetrators" and "victims" are not simply that.  They are brothers and sisters, sons and daughters, fathers and mothers.  They are people, and should be treated as such.

People who are victims of abuse often suffer silently for long periods of time--possibly their entire lives.  To effectively address DA in people's lives awareness must be raised and assistance provided in leaving or eliminating abusive situations and coping with the long term psychological and perhaps even physical affects.  Many victims do not know anything but abuse; it feels normal.  When people are in an abusive relationship the last thing they need is judgement (to be labeled a victim or a perpetrator).  What is needed is compassion and understanding.  People stay in abusive relationships for fear of breaking family ties, becoming homeless, or even putting their lives and the lives of their children at risk.  These fears are not irrational.  Many who leave have nowhere to go because they feel powerless and literally are isolated from friends and family.  Mothers or fathers and their children often become homeless and hungry.

Many organizations including Piña Productions, Family Tree (website here) in Denver, and the Violence Intervention Program (VIP) (website here) in Los Angeles raise awareness at events like the film screening I attended and reach out and provide all sorts of assistance to victims.  By assisting survivors of abuse with housing, food, education, employment, and counseling they effectively help improve the lives of survivors and reduce the likelihood of domestic abuse in future generations.  Let us not forget the perpetrators.  There are cases where they reach a crossroad and decide that enough is enough.  These cases are rare, but they do happen.  Demonizing the perpetrators does not help.  Their actions may not earn them respect, but the fact that they are human beings suffering in ways we may never understand affords them some.

Every one of us has our own struggles.  If we reach out to one another more and label and judge each other less, we all would live happier and healthier lives.  Please like and follow A Truth in Silence on Facebook and/or Twitter.  If you are in a position to host a screening of the film or volunteer for an organization like Family Tree or VIP in your area please seriously consider doing so.  It is through the actions of dedicated and compassionate individuals that the cycle of abuse can end.   Please share this story if it has touched you or if you know someone who may be touched by it.   Thank you for your time and may peace be with you.

Understanding the Overview Effect

Recently I came upon a post shared on one of the social media pages I follow.  It briefly discusses a phenomenon that astronauts who have visited space encounter called "the overview effect."  A book named "The Overview Effect" by Frank White (who coined the phrase) discusses the phenomenon at length.  To summarize the idea of the phenomenon the aforementioned post shares a quote by Apollo 14 astronaut Edgar Mitchell:

"You develop an instant global consciousness, a people orientation, an intense dissatisfaction with the state of the world, and a compulsion to do something about it. From out there on the moon, international politics look so petty. You want to grab a politician by the scruff of the neck and drag him a quarter of a million miles out and say, 'Look at that, you son of a bitch.'"

Though I am not an astronaut and I never have even left my home country (in case it isn't obvious--the USA), I feel this every day of my life.  My problem has always been that my mind and my doubts get in the way of the "compulsion to do something about it."  I often wonder why so few people in the world feel the same way.  Why does it takes some kind of event--a catalyst if you will--to "awaken" this feeling of oneness in people?  For astronauts it is seeing the earth as a whole in the blackness of space with only a thin layer of atmosphere separating the earth from space.  I believe for others it may be a psychedelic trip on mushrooms or DMT or some other psychoactive substance.  For a few others it appears to be a sudden or perhaps a slow yet mysterious realization (lacking any single identifiable catalyst) that the pettiness of our differences is so immense in the backdrop of the Universe.

I wonder why more people don't feel this way, but then I realize that I have felt this way for some time but also I have felt largely powerless to  take action.  Perhaps it is not that people don't feel something but that people don't know what exactly it is they feel and are conditioned by society to go on with "business as usual."  Even if someone does fully realize the absurdity of so much of modern civilization's follies they may--like me--feel powerless to do anything about it.  The question "What can I do about it?" goes unanswered.  Instead it festers in the back of people's minds, making their hearts ache and their mental, physical, and spiritual health suffer.  Still others develop various defense mechanisms in an attempt to shield themselves from the truth, but the truth cannot be hidden forever.  Many simply decide to accept things as they are and embrace the absurdity rather than attempt to remedy it.  Many don't see the sickness for what it is but insist that those who see it are the sick ones.

Perhaps the biggest reason for this epidemic of "illness" or perhaps "blindness" (since people cannot "see" the truth) is that despite our technically advanced society that offers so much comfort and so many conveniences most of us still operate in "survival mode."  With all the stresses of modern life people ultimately are just trying to get by.  We're stuck in the loop of work, get paid, spend money, eat and drink, expel waste, learn very little, share even less, distract ourselves from the drudgery of it all, and repeat.  How do we end the cycle?

I am examining the cycle in my own life and making changes to it over time.  Thus far I have stopped "working" for the sake of "getting paid."  Not everyone has that luxury I know, and I am extremely grateful that I have.  I am actively exploring new opportunities for work (getting paid) and learning (learning MORE).  I watch what I spend my money on ("Do I NEED this?"), what I eat and drink (mostly healthy foods, water, and yerba mate), and what I distract myself with and how often.  One major distraction is stuff in the way of physical possessions.  The late George Carlin is one of my favorite comedians of all time.  One of his most famous bits was about how our lives revolve around "stuff."  He said that our houses are piles of stuff with a roof above it and locks around it to keep people from taking it.  Everywhere we go we take a bunch of stuff with us.  And no matter how much of it we have we always want more.  Not me.  I'm getting rid of most of my stuff.  Finally, I am pledging to share more.  This blog is only one way in which I am sharing more.

To wrap it up, in order to do something about "it" (the absurdities of civilization) we must first do something about ourselves, but we must not stop there.  That basically is the long and short of it.  In other words, that's the basic "overview."  What do you think about that?

Go Big or Go Home

As I sit here sipping mate I contemplate both the beauty and the ugliness in the world.  If one looks closely enough I believe that a little beauty can be found in the ugliest of things.  Likewise within the most beautiful things lies something grotesque.  Nothing ever is completely either black or white.

Actually, the color white is not actually white.  White is what we see because the light reflecting off of white surfaces contains all of the visible colors of the light spectrum.  In other words, white surfaces absorb none of the colors of the rainbow.  Just the same black is the lack of colored light being reflected.  So black surfaces absorb all of the colors within the visible spectrum of light.  That is why a "black hole" is called a black hole.  Black holes appear to absorb all of the matter that surrounds them.

Up until some time at the beginning of 2013 my life was primarily about me and my hermit-like introverted lifestyle.  I worked a technical job in a cubicle ten hours a night (graveyard shift) and returned to my bachelor pad to consume the remaining 128 hours of my week.  What did I fill the time with?  For many years it was spent buying mostly useless crap, listening to music, watching television, and surfing the Internet.  Occasionally I ventured out to attend live concerts--usually metal (as in heavy metal) but also blues, rock, or even a symphony orchestra performance or two.

To me a "consumer" is a person whose life is consumed primarily by stuff instead of by experiences that promote individual growth and growth as a people.  Becoming an adult should not mean becoming a "finished product" to be sold to those willing to buy.  In that regard I was both a commodity and a consumer.  I didn't feel alive.  It may sound cliché, but I felt like a cog in a machine or a caged animal.  I was neither the engineer that tinkered with the machine nor was I a free and self-reliant wild animal.  I wanted to be the architect of my own life, take risks, and know what it means to live.

Through both luck and my own frugality (not to mention lacking a social life), I had accumulated some savings.  For over a year as of this writing I have survived on savings and the good graces of family.  Technically I moved back in with my parents, but I am not ashamed of it.  They have helped me in ways I cannot describe and I am extremely grateful for them and all they do for me.  I do what I can to support my family members as well, financially and otherwise.  But my welcome is wearing thin as is my savings.  I knew this part of my life was just a phase, but it was a necessary one.

I think now that I went from a very selfish life to a much more selfless one.  I am no saint, but recently I have focused heavily on helping those around me because I can rather than on doing things to get something in return.  I have helped family with whatever they needed whenever possible and I have volunteered part-time at a local school.  I have not sought a paying job with any real effort nor have I desired to do anything with any measurable "return on investment" as they say in the business world.  I am out of balance.  I went from white to black--or perhaps more accurately from near black to near white.

I have decided to seek meaningful part-time employment (a paying "gig") and explore new and exciting educational opportunities.  I remain a bachelor and to the chagrin of my mother I may never marry or have children.  This may be saying too much, but I am not interested in a physical relationship with anyone.  I might even say that I am similar to a monk whose religion could only be defined as love.  As such I will continue volunteering in whatever ways I can and as much as I can.

However others may see or define me, I know that the person I see in the mirror is not who I am.  The image of me is merely a kaleidoscope of colored light that passes through the visual organ systems of my body to eventually form an image in my mind.  In that way I am light and so is everyone else.  We're all just unique expressions of it.  And so I will strive for the remainder of my life to honor the light in us all by going forth without fear.  What have I got to lose?  It's not like I am getting out of this life alive anyway.

A Brief Biography: Introducing illumimate

My name is Frank.  It is a common name, but there is little "common" about me.  I am a common man--or more succinctly a common adult person of male gender--with some very uncommon ways of looking at things.  Thank you for your interest in sharing my journey!

In late 2011 I was approaching the landmark age of thirty.  I started examining my past, present, and possible future. I was not happy with my life despite having a secure job with a comfortable income (at least for a bachelor in the city I lived in) and almost no debt.  I was alive, but I wasn't really living.  Life had become too routine and comfortable.  It was time for change, but I did not know what kind of changes I wanted or needed.  I decided to start with living a more healthy life, physically as well as spiritually.

Much of my family was obese and I was no exception.  At under 5 feet 8 inches tall I weighed about 220 pounds.  Today I weigh less than 170 pounds and I have hovered around this weight since early 2013.  The weight loss happened slowly over the course of about a year and a half.  I would shed a few pounds and then plateau for a few weeks or even gain back a pound or two.  I made small changes to my diet and exercise routine as I went along to ensure that I continued to lose weight.  Daily or almost daily walks helped immensely.  When I started feeling stronger I started jogging for short distances during my walks.  Short distances turned into long distances.  I am not a fast runner, but I have run 5k distances non-stop on several occasions.  I have no proof of this (I do not use GPS and I run alone), but I know that I have done it and that is good enough for me.

A catalyst for many of the changes in my life has been a drink native to the South American rainforest known as yerba maté--or simply mate (same pronunciation).  It is derived from the leaves and stems of the holly shrub with the scientific name Ilex paraguariensis.  As its scientific name suggests, it is best known for being grown and cultivated in Paraguay and surrounding areas.  Throughout Paraguay, Argentina, Uruguay, and southern Brazil mate is drunk alone or communally with friends and family or even with acquaintances.  Instead of asking a visitor if they would like coffee, tea, or soda (pop), a host normally will ask their guests if they would like mate.  Often the guest will reply yes whether the guest likes mate or not and the host will proceed to prepare a mate or a "gourd."

The word mate means "cup" in the tongue of native peoples from the region of Paraguay.  Today mate has come to mean a cup of yerba mate.  The word yerba is one Spanish version of the word "herb" and so "yerba mate" translates literally to "cup herb."

Mate originally was drunk from a hollow calabash gourd but now more commonly is drunk from wooden, glass, ceramic or food grade silicone "gourds" or mates.  A regular coffee mug will even suffice.  The mate of choice is filled with the dried and usually cured (aged) yerba (leaves and usually stems) and drunk through a filtered straw called a bombilla (bom-bee-ya or bom-bee-sha).  The bombilla originally was made of bamboo but today more often is made of alpaca silver (German silver), stainless steel, or nickel plated brass.  Hot (not boiling) or cold (usually with ice) water is poured into a vacuum flask or "Thermos."  Little by little the hot or cold water is poured into the mate and drunk through the bombilla.  Each refill of the mate is passed from server or cebador to fellow "mate circle" members and back again.  Sometimes the mate is sweetened (dulce) or flavored with herbs or other flavorings and sometimes it is consumed "bitter" (amargo).  For many an American palate mate amargo (plain, unsweetened and unflavored yerba mate) is very unappealing while for others it immediately "clicks."  Admittedly it took some time for me to develop a taste for it, but it was the effects I liked most.

Now to explain the jump from talking about health and weight loss to talking about a "yerba mate catalyst."  Some of the physical effects of yerba mate (just mate from now on) is that it aids in digestion and metabolism.  Mate contains a unique combination of caffeine, theobromine (found in chocolate), and theophylline (found in green tea) among many other antioxidants and vital nutrients.  This unique combination often referred to as "mateine" helps to cleanse and energize the body and the mind, sharpen the senses, and suppress appetite.  Combined with healthier eating habits and regular exercise mate helped me not only lose weight but it helped me realize that I hold the key to my own happiness and that happiness is a way of travel rather than a destination.

Some time over the last couple of years I started sharing mate with family and friends in person and online.  One of these shared experiences took place in an online mate circle or mate drinking session hosted by Circle of Drink.  During the circle I joked about materos or dedicated mate drinkers being an "illumimate" (a play on illuminati).  I wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but someone in the group suggested that "illumimate needs to be a thing."  I did not know for a long time exactly what this "thing" might be, but recently I came to a decision of what I dream it will be.  In the near future it will be a full featured web site (illumimate.org) sharing inspiring stories of my own and others including adventures in volunteering.

Ideally I would like to become a "professional volunteer" where I am not directly compensated with money for services I provide to those in need of them.  I have been doing a bit of volunteering already, but I will go into that a bit in my next blog post.  Until then, thank you for your time and I hope that you will subscribe to my blog and continue with me on my journey.  As materos say, salud!  And may you have an excellent day!